She battled cancer last year. She lived in Misawa and then had to leave to go fight breast cancer. She found out she was pregnant around the same time she had Cancer. A couple of weeks after having her beautiful daughter Chloe, she passed away. The year mark just passed. I have thought about this family a lot! I just watched his video and it can not help bring you to tears. I know the love that I have for my baby.. and it scares me I wont be here with him through his life. Then I think of Sara, like Shane, both robbed of watching their babies grow... I HATE it! My heart breaks for these families... If you have about seven minutes, take some time to watch this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDGX11VmCsU&feature=player_embedded#!
Sunday, 26 September 2010
Friday, 24 September 2010
Thursday, 23 September 2010
I Love my Son!
Noah LOVES this toy. He will hit it over and over again because he knows it is going to sing to him and the lamp is going to light up. He is just so darn cute! :) He tries to climb all over it.. he has a good ol' time! Today he has stood by himself for about 10 seconds a few times. This kid is SO much like his Daddy it is insane! I just love him. I can not even imagine my life without him anymore.
I had a great birthday. My besties put together a small dinner for me! It was so nice! :) I am loving work. Noah is loving his babysitter! Life is grand. Nate deploys in 2mths.. that sucks. Our best friends the Wades, her hubby is leaving tomorrow- it breaks my heart. He is one of my closest friends too! OH MY what will I do when we leave here in June?
*Here is to praying for orders to Abilene, Texas* Although I will NEVER find a job like I have!!!
Sunday, 19 September 2010
I am 27 Today
Today in Japan it is September 20th. Today I turn 27. Last year I remember Shane making fun of me for getting old and then picking on me that I couldnt have 2 birthdays- American AND Japanese.. he wouldnt tell me Happy Bday until it was the 2oth stateside. Man, how I wish he was here to tell me Happy Birthday this year! But here is to being 3 years away from the big 3-0.
It is really funny. I have barely thought of my birthday this year and quite frankly didnt even remember it today until I logged on FaceBook! It is funny what having Noah has changed for me! I love this kid!
Speaking of him. When he wakes up every morning.. he wakes up HAPPY! I pray he is always like this. I love walking in his room in the mornings when he has woken up or after nap time. He is always laughing, talking, and smiling. Of course now that he is ALL over teh place, this is how I find him... and we had to finally move his crib down! :)
It is really funny. I have barely thought of my birthday this year and quite frankly didnt even remember it today until I logged on FaceBook! It is funny what having Noah has changed for me! I love this kid!
Speaking of him. When he wakes up every morning.. he wakes up HAPPY! I pray he is always like this. I love walking in his room in the mornings when he has woken up or after nap time. He is always laughing, talking, and smiling. Of course now that he is ALL over teh place, this is how I find him... and we had to finally move his crib down! :)
My Top 10 Baby Must Haves!
Took this idea from a friends blog! Thanks Alexa. After about six months of being a Mommy -- this would be my TOP 10 of what I MUST have..
1. Lanolin Cream! This stuff was a complete life saver during the first weeks of having Noah. Truly I have not had to use it much since the first month.. but man, it worked miracles during that time! We have actually been able to use it for other awesomeness as well. But I highly recommend this to all breast feeding mommies out there!!
2. Medela Double Pump! Man, I love this thing! I have a single pump that I recieved for a baby gift. A fellow teacher loaned me this double pump and THANK GOD I have it. If she had not loaned it to me, I would have had to buy one- it works miracles for a WORKING breastfeeding mommy. Even before I started working again, man.. I Love it!! I know when we have our next baby, Lord willing, I will be purchasing one of these for myself.
3. NICE Camera! Every new Mommy needs their very own super nice camera. I am so thankful that my hubby bought me my new camera. It is so fun taking pictures of my Noah now that I know I can get good ones! My goal is to understand how to take such awesome pictures that I never have/want to take him for other professional ones! Thanks Baby for my camera.
4. Little Tummy Gas Drops! Man, these things were a lifesaver in the first few months. Mr. Noah suffered from gas a lot- and these just worked. Man, oh man!! We could have bought stock in the them first three months. We really have not used them near as much as we use too.. but they were awesome in the early months. They sure helped my boy not be in pain over food that I chose to eat.
5. Liquid Baby Powder! We were just recently introduced to this when it was given to us. Man, I love this SO much better than regular baby powder. With the regular powder it seems that I was always getting it all over me! However- note to self! Never put it on you when your chaffing. Poor Nate used it when he was... and man, it burned like heck!!
6. Boppy Pillow! This thing was AWESOME the first month.. and continued to be awesome the first few months after. I do not use it as much to breastfeed now, because we have the hang of it. But it is great for Noah to lay on. Also.. if you travel- as we did from Japan to Texas.. man, it was awesome to use on the plane.. Especially to feed him!
7. Moby Wrap! Man, I LOVE this thing. Of course these days he is a little chunk who is just TOO big for it! But it sure worked wonders for me when he was younger. It helped a lot during our trip home as well.. especially when it was just me and him! I will definitly use this for future children.
8. Skype! This is such a wonderful use of technology. Noah definitly knows his Gammy, TawTaw, and Aunt Brittany because we skype regulary. Noah's daddy will be deployed soon adn this will be our saving grace. Thank you Lord for SKYPE! This is a must have for anyone that does not live near their family.. it makes youfeel like you are right next door.
9. Breastfeeding Cover! This thing helped me a lot when people were around. I never wanted to feel secluded around my friends (guys.. girls I just pop it out).. so this always helped me hide what I was doing.. but still be involved. It helps if you have a cute one!
10. Jogging Stroller! I have loved ours. I may not jog with it so much- but just taking my Noah for walks. He loves it and has been using it since day 1. We started putting him in the actual seat of it when he was just a couple of months old. Before that we just used his carseat and attached it on there! Worked wonders!
What a wonderful list of AWESOMENESS!!
1. Lanolin Cream! This stuff was a complete life saver during the first weeks of having Noah. Truly I have not had to use it much since the first month.. but man, it worked miracles during that time! We have actually been able to use it for other awesomeness as well. But I highly recommend this to all breast feeding mommies out there!!
2. Medela Double Pump! Man, I love this thing! I have a single pump that I recieved for a baby gift. A fellow teacher loaned me this double pump and THANK GOD I have it. If she had not loaned it to me, I would have had to buy one- it works miracles for a WORKING breastfeeding mommy. Even before I started working again, man.. I Love it!! I know when we have our next baby, Lord willing, I will be purchasing one of these for myself.
3. NICE Camera! Every new Mommy needs their very own super nice camera. I am so thankful that my hubby bought me my new camera. It is so fun taking pictures of my Noah now that I know I can get good ones! My goal is to understand how to take such awesome pictures that I never have/want to take him for other professional ones! Thanks Baby for my camera.
4. Little Tummy Gas Drops! Man, these things were a lifesaver in the first few months. Mr. Noah suffered from gas a lot- and these just worked. Man, oh man!! We could have bought stock in the them first three months. We really have not used them near as much as we use too.. but they were awesome in the early months. They sure helped my boy not be in pain over food that I chose to eat.
5. Liquid Baby Powder! We were just recently introduced to this when it was given to us. Man, I love this SO much better than regular baby powder. With the regular powder it seems that I was always getting it all over me! However- note to self! Never put it on you when your chaffing. Poor Nate used it when he was... and man, it burned like heck!!
6. Boppy Pillow! This thing was AWESOME the first month.. and continued to be awesome the first few months after. I do not use it as much to breastfeed now, because we have the hang of it. But it is great for Noah to lay on. Also.. if you travel- as we did from Japan to Texas.. man, it was awesome to use on the plane.. Especially to feed him!
7. Moby Wrap! Man, I LOVE this thing. Of course these days he is a little chunk who is just TOO big for it! But it sure worked wonders for me when he was younger. It helped a lot during our trip home as well.. especially when it was just me and him! I will definitly use this for future children.
8. Skype! This is such a wonderful use of technology. Noah definitly knows his Gammy, TawTaw, and Aunt Brittany because we skype regulary. Noah's daddy will be deployed soon adn this will be our saving grace. Thank you Lord for SKYPE! This is a must have for anyone that does not live near their family.. it makes youfeel like you are right next door.
9. Breastfeeding Cover! This thing helped me a lot when people were around. I never wanted to feel secluded around my friends (guys.. girls I just pop it out).. so this always helped me hide what I was doing.. but still be involved. It helps if you have a cute one!
10. Jogging Stroller! I have loved ours. I may not jog with it so much- but just taking my Noah for walks. He loves it and has been using it since day 1. We started putting him in the actual seat of it when he was just a couple of months old. Before that we just used his carseat and attached it on there! Worked wonders!
What a wonderful list of AWESOMENESS!!
My favorite Toys!
Noah has so many toys! I have founid a few on our Virtual YardSale site here in Misawa.. and then some have been given to us. Today he got a lot of new toys from a friend.. we are so thankful. But up until today, his favorite has been his wagon! :) He just loves it! This is his wagon...
We took this wagon camping with us and it kept him and Allie occupied all weekend! Sweet babies. Today he got his first TONKA truck.. and a couple of other trucks. But by far, today, his favorite is his Vtech Learning Walker. HE loves it. The front of it comes off and he can play with it on the floor.. so he is sitting by me, playing with 'his computer.' Man, I love this kid.
Okay, my child is attacking me adn the computer- more to come later!
We took this wagon camping with us and it kept him and Allie occupied all weekend! Sweet babies. Today he got his first TONKA truck.. and a couple of other trucks. But by far, today, his favorite is his Vtech Learning Walker. HE loves it. The front of it comes off and he can play with it on the floor.. so he is sitting by me, playing with 'his computer.' Man, I love this kid.
Okay, my child is attacking me adn the computer- more to come later!
Saturday, 18 September 2010
I'm a Big Boy!
It is so sad that I have grown up so fast. My mommy tears up often thinking about how much I am growing up! I have done things so fast and it has not suprised my Daddy one bit, but mommy sits in amazement all of the time. Daddy told everyone when I was born that I would be a fast learner- and I am. I am a lot like my daddy. And oh, how I love him. They keep talking about something called a deployment and how hard it is going to be for Daddy to be away from me. That makes ME sad that my Daddy will be away from me. But I dont want to make this blog entry sad, I know my mommy already does that enough. But here is a picture of me my first day of life and then after that is me today- standing up on our TV stand. I am so big. I love my life though. Mommy says that my Uncle Shane would love me.. I love him too.
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Friday, 17 September 2010
First Cold
My little boy got his first cold. It took almost six months. Poor guys, he has struggled with breathing.. and after a long night of being up and down last night, I managed to finally get him comfy enough to sleep. I had to put some of this on him...
I brought Noah to bed with us because he was just to pitiful.. oh and perhaps I enjoy cuddling at night a little too much. Daddy wakes up and asks me WHAT smells like Ginger so much.. HEHE!
The other thing that has been a life saver through the night is this sucker thing.. Frist time I have had to use it. He is a big boy and does well with it! I sure love this kids!
I brought Noah to bed with us because he was just to pitiful.. oh and perhaps I enjoy cuddling at night a little too much. Daddy wakes up and asks me WHAT smells like Ginger so much.. HEHE!
The other thing that has been a life saver through the night is this sucker thing.. Frist time I have had to use it. He is a big boy and does well with it! I sure love this kids!
Thursday, 16 September 2010
Pretty Cool
I probably have the best son ever. Watching
him grow and learn is SO fun. Today I watched
in amazement as he 'stood' on his knees. His
back was straight up and he was just playing...
and then, wouldnt you know. he grabbed a hold
of his toy and STOOD right up.
my big boy- and he isnt even six months old yet!
he is my favorite.
him grow and learn is SO fun. Today I watched
in amazement as he 'stood' on his knees. His
back was straight up and he was just playing...
and then, wouldnt you know. he grabbed a hold
of his toy and STOOD right up.
my big boy- and he isnt even six months old yet!
he is my favorite.
Saturday, 11 September 2010
Letter
Shane,
I miss you brother. A.LOT. I miss our talks and laughing. It makes me sad because I think of all the times we missed out on things together... because I thought you would always be there. Life is so different without you. And sometimes it sucks. I am so thankful that God gave me Noah when he did... because Noah has helped me continue living. I have been dreaming about you more often. The past two dreams stay with me.. The first one you told me 'I am okay.' And the last one you asked me 'Can I hold him?' Your the best big brother ever. Forever if I am asked if I have brothers and sisters.. I will say yes, an older brother and a younger sister. Sometimes I wonder where you are, what you are doing. My faith has definitly been shaken through all of this. There are so many reasons why you should still be here. Yet, you arent. I can not understand it. I miss you. I watch families around me arguing over minut things, not talking to each other, disowning each other, not loving each other, etc. It makes me mad. I do not understand. It makes me even madder because you see- these families that surround me acting this way- they havent lost their son or brother.. becuase if they had.. surely things would be different for them, right? I listen to people that do not know of my personal life complaining about their siblings and well.. I just want to yell.. AT LEAST YOURS IS STILL HERE. I love you brother. 9+ months have passed and it makes me mad and sad. I didnt think we would be able to move on.. and honestly I feel guilty. Like I said.. I am SO thankful God put Noah in my life at that time. He has been my saving grace. You told me being a parent was amazing. Wow bro, you were right. I have never been happier in my life. The only thing that could make me any happier would be that you were still here and you had met your little nephew. I love you... and miss you... SO MUCH.
Your Little Sister
I miss you brother. A.LOT. I miss our talks and laughing. It makes me sad because I think of all the times we missed out on things together... because I thought you would always be there. Life is so different without you. And sometimes it sucks. I am so thankful that God gave me Noah when he did... because Noah has helped me continue living. I have been dreaming about you more often. The past two dreams stay with me.. The first one you told me 'I am okay.' And the last one you asked me 'Can I hold him?' Your the best big brother ever. Forever if I am asked if I have brothers and sisters.. I will say yes, an older brother and a younger sister. Sometimes I wonder where you are, what you are doing. My faith has definitly been shaken through all of this. There are so many reasons why you should still be here. Yet, you arent. I can not understand it. I miss you. I watch families around me arguing over minut things, not talking to each other, disowning each other, not loving each other, etc. It makes me mad. I do not understand. It makes me even madder because you see- these families that surround me acting this way- they havent lost their son or brother.. becuase if they had.. surely things would be different for them, right? I listen to people that do not know of my personal life complaining about their siblings and well.. I just want to yell.. AT LEAST YOURS IS STILL HERE. I love you brother. 9+ months have passed and it makes me mad and sad. I didnt think we would be able to move on.. and honestly I feel guilty. Like I said.. I am SO thankful God put Noah in my life at that time. He has been my saving grace. You told me being a parent was amazing. Wow bro, you were right. I have never been happier in my life. The only thing that could make me any happier would be that you were still here and you had met your little nephew. I love you... and miss you... SO MUCH.
Your Little Sister
Friday, 3 September 2010
9 months
3 more months and it will be a year since we lost Shane. Gosh, I miss my brother SO bad. Today, 9-3 is 9 months since the wreck. Life has continued.. and some days are better than others.. but all in all, it just sucks. I am so thankful for the joy of my life- Noah. Without my baby I dont know how I would have made it through this. I mean, I would have... because you have too.. but it would be hard.. this is my moms blog from today:
September 3
Today is Sept 3rd. It's been 9 mths now since life as we knew was changed forever. It's still so hard. The kids are still missing him and thinking of him. Ashtyn or Addi will say something out of the blue. Especially Ashtyn and he remembers so vividly. its amazing really. It's so sad to me that they tell people "My Daddy died". But they say it and it's the truth so......
I took Shane some new fall color flowers yesterday and removed some of the other faded flowers, it's so sad. I used to take him toilet paper or paper towels and maybe help him pick up around his house. But now I'm taking him flowers to the cemetery and picking up little bits and pieces of stuff around his grave. It's not fair! I know life's not fair but with so many bad people running around why my son? I know he was not without fault, ha! We all know he made some bad choices in his life but for his kids he settled down worked and took care of them loved them so completely, it just doesn't make since, but it never will so here we go, Life we keep on and make the best of it and try to live it for him, if he can't be here then we will carry on. Take care of his kids, love them and love the life we have, even if the smile is sometimes just a fraud..... but sometimes they are genuine.....
September 3
Today is Sept 3rd. It's been 9 mths now since life as we knew was changed forever. It's still so hard. The kids are still missing him and thinking of him. Ashtyn or Addi will say something out of the blue. Especially Ashtyn and he remembers so vividly. its amazing really. It's so sad to me that they tell people "My Daddy died". But they say it and it's the truth so......
I took Shane some new fall color flowers yesterday and removed some of the other faded flowers, it's so sad. I used to take him toilet paper or paper towels and maybe help him pick up around his house. But now I'm taking him flowers to the cemetery and picking up little bits and pieces of stuff around his grave. It's not fair! I know life's not fair but with so many bad people running around why my son? I know he was not without fault, ha! We all know he made some bad choices in his life but for his kids he settled down worked and took care of them loved them so completely, it just doesn't make since, but it never will so here we go, Life we keep on and make the best of it and try to live it for him, if he can't be here then we will carry on. Take care of his kids, love them and love the life we have, even if the smile is sometimes just a fraud..... but sometimes they are genuine.....
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