Halloween

I can't believe it has been over a month since I have written.

Noah- He is now seven months.. and going everywhere. He has taken a step several times. I feel like he will be walking sooner rather than later. He is into everything and saying MAMA all the time. He says PAPA every now and again.. I am trying to get him to say DADA! We shall see what he ends up doing. Him and Dezi have become awesome friends. Dezi enjoys him now and will bring her toys to him. Noah just laughs and laughs when she does this.. he doesnt understand throwing it yet, so we help him. Noah is very into MUSIC. His daddy has made him this way. It is adorable. He is just the light of our life. He makes one cute pumpkin too for Halloween. He eats pretty much what we eat and is still solely breastfed. I am very proud of this. When I had him my goal was six months.. to feed him for at least six months. That would mean I would only have to feed him for about a month after going back to work. But I had a nurse that talked to me about it when I was in the hospital and she talked about how important it was.. and her goal was to do it for one year. SO she did.. and she was a flight nurse.. so she was on flights a lot. So, I have continued. He feeds in the mornings and nights from me.. and I pump once, sometimes twice a day at school. It is working out great.

Nate: He is getting ready to leave us. As matter of fact, his expected departure date is less than a month away. When I hear him talking about the out processing he has done, it makes my stomach turn. This is going to be so hard.. when we skype. Watching Noah NOT be able to get to his daddy. Watchign Nate NOT being able to hold him and play with him. I am not sure I am ready for this- but really, what choice do I have. A couple pluses... my best friends (Kim and Abbey).. both of their husbands are gone at that time too. ... I will get to go home for two weeks at Christmas... and we PCS very shortly after Nate returns. We should find out pretty soon where we will be going. We have our fingers crossed for Dyess AFB in Abilene.. that would be AWESOMe. Right there with my sister AND only 5 hours from home!! Nate will be missing Christmas and Noah's 1st birthday.. So, we are celebrating Christmas in November and Noahs bday when he gets back. I guess.. ready or not.. its gonna happen.

Work: Is going great. I have an awesome bunch of kiddos. I just love them. They makes leaving Noah not as bad. It is a good thing I love them so much and my job... But my prayer is that Nate's heart will soften as we move back to America and he will consider letting me be a SAHM. I am looking into other options so I do not have to go back into the classroom as soon as we get home. But my biggest hurdle to get over with that is my husband.. But my heart is with Noah and that is where I WANT to be and where I FEEL I should be. So, I guess we shall see.

October: Has gone by so fast. This month at home.. is a harder month. Yamboree, Treats on the Square, Halloween. Last year- Shane was there. This year.. he isnt. My mom is awesome. She has been so awesome with those kids the past 11 months. I can not believe we are about to hit the year mark on December 3rd. I am NOT ready for that. Time has gone fast and it angers me. Why has life gone on without my big brother? But I am so thankful that God gave me Noah.. he has been my saving grace this year. He has brought joy to me that I have never known int he hardest month of my life. There are days that I just break down.. and it is hard to recover sometimes. I hate when I do that on my way to work... it is hard. But I do not think that there has been a single day that has gone by that I have not thought about my brother. I dont understand it.. probably never will. But I have to believe he is loving every bit of heaven as he watches over his kiddos. I just ache for them.. for all of us. Selfishly, I ache because my son will never know his Uncle Shane. I am just soooo glad Shane knew I was having a boy before all that happened. Oh, December 3rd-- please slow down from getting here......