Here I sit, the Eve of my first real day back at work. Some would think I am crazy because I only have three weeks until school is out for the summer. I am blessed that I have been able to take the past 10 weeks off to be with my little boy and I am even more blessed that the career I chose years ago gives me summers off. But here it is, almost 11pm, and I can not go to sleep. I D.R.E.A.D leaving Noah tomorrow. Sure, I have worked a few times already-- but the fact that I know tomorrow starts my really going back to work- hurts my heart. I am going to miss my sweet boy. No one calms him like I do, so of course I am going to worry. This starts the next three weeks of him eating from a bottle 2-3 times during the day. I am so not ready for that.
What about our morning cuddle time? Our good morning smiles? Our morning cleaning chores? All of these small things that I have grown to love about having my little man... begin to stop tomorrow morning. I can not wait until Saturday already. I love this little munchkin and I strongly envy stay at home moms. I want to be the one that he is always with- the one that teaches him everything-- and then watches him do it.
Oh geez.. the more I sit here thinking about it, the less I like the thought. This blog was just to let everyone know that I go back to work tomorrow and YES I am having a hard time with it. THIS, coming from the girl that has said all along that it would sooo not be hard, I would be ready, being a stay at home mom is not for me.. PHEW, that was before I met my perfect baby. But I will go.. and with a joyful heart.. and enjoy my last few weeks with my other kiddos.
Please pray for me tomorrow.
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