Well the trip to Texas was amazing. An amazing month that we wish could have gone on and on. I enjoyed spending all of our time with family. I really enjoyed watching everyone with my Noah. Grandma loooved him. Moma loved him. He is a TawTaw's boy! :) Gammy and TawTaw spoiled him with a ton of new clothes!! :) Noah and I stayed about 11 days later than Nate.. and we went, along with Gammy to Abilene to visit Aunt Brittany and Uncle Meguell. It was a wonderful trip. Then we, Noah and I, ventured back to Japan.. alone! He did well. My baby is an AWESOME world traveler.
It was really sad being home without my brother. I visited his grave.. once with mom and Britt.. and then I went by myself. I didnt think that I could handle it, but I knew I had too. So I took my Noah and we went to 'visit' him. I just cried. I just let go and cried. It was SO hard. But.. I finally have a peace. I truly believe my brother is wrapped in the arms of Christ watching over all of us. I am still very confused why he was taken from this world, leaving his amazing three children here. But I am so thankful that I am still able to be a part of their lives... even from thousands of miles away. I did go to Shane's house.. ONCE. It was around 10pm, so it was dark, and I stayed on the side of the house. I know it is hard for the family/friends that live out there to understand WHY I didnt come out there. BUT! That house is more than my brothers house to us. That is the house that WE grew up in WITH HIM. That house has so many memories. THAT is the house that Shane was going to grow old in with his children. So, I made the choice to go out there late to see Brian.. but I was there for only a few minutes and NEVER, EVER went inside. I have no desire to be out there on that property. I drove past the wreck site several times. I was blessed to see that the cross was still on the tree and the fake flowers were still in the ground on the other side of the road. I figured the cross was there.. because Craig and Brian had screwed it to the tree.. but I was really hoping those flowers were on the other side. Those flowers are there because the little girl that lives in the house on that property put them there.. that is where my brother was lying.. and she wanted him to have something for Christmas. I was sooo amazed and happy that after almost 8 months... they were still there. I love my brother- he loves me. I really enjoyed sharing the good memories aloud with my family.
The kids are great. I miss those munchkins. I wish I could have spent more time with them. It was much harder this time for two reasons.. one.. I have my own child now. I had to take Noah between my house and NAte's house and it was hard to have other kids with me. and two.. Shane wasnt there. Normally I will get the kids and take them to Shane at night. Things just arent that simple anymore. But I truly believe God has a plan.. I do.
School starts on the 30th. I go back on the 25ht. My friends have been helping me get my class together. I am really excited. I have moved to third grade. I have only taught 5ht and 7th grade .. so this is a welcomed change!! I still have a lot to do.. but it is all slowly coming together. I will head home in December because Nate is due to deploy. So my two weeks off for Christmas- I am heading home. Another looong trip with just Noah and me!
Have I told you lately how much I love being a mommy? I really feel blessed that God allowed Noah to be placed into my care! I pray that I always have this healthy, happy baby boy!!
Congrats on moving to the 3rd grade. My friends tell me this is a wonderful age to teach, independent...don't need to blow their noses...but still innocent enough that you can put some fear into them. I'm sorry for the loss of your brother. How kind of the young girl to place flowers out as a memorial to him. I've found that Texans are, for the most part, very compassionate. Thank you for stopping by and reading my blog. I hope you'll continue to come by, we can share out adventures in teaching!
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