Who am I?

I am Cassey. But who am I?

I am so very different than I was when I went to Japan three years ago. People that I left behind back then- they may not know who I am today. I have grown so much. I am so very different. It is sad to me that those people that I knew so well... they don't even really know me anymore. I have gone through a lot in three years. I have met some amazing people who will always be my family. I have lost my brother. I have had a baby! I have made it through two deployments. I have lived in a foreign country for three years. I am not as outspoken as I once was. I tend to be more reserved. I try not to take the days I have for granted. I am just so different.

I love my life. I love my husband. I love my son. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my dog! I am a better person today than I was three years ago. How I wish Shane could see his little sister now. I have grown and matured in ways that I never thought possible. I wish he could see this side of me. He always knew me as an AUNT, but how I wish he could see me as a Mommy. He always complimented me on how I am as a wife... man, I just wish he could see me as a mom. I wish he could meet my Noah. But he won't on this side... I wish he could see his sweet kids today. They have grown and changed so much. These sweet babies, growing up without their daddy.

Those kids are going to grow up with a life much different than we did as kids. They are going to grow up with this being their life and their normal- and they won't know how our family was before Daddy left. These kids are precious to me and I am so thankful to be part of their life... and though I am not around much, I am thankful to help mold them into who they are when I am around. I am thankful for my parents for being who they are to them! Shane would be so happy!!! He would be so proud of his little girls and boy.

I love my kid! He consumes me! He is my heart. I am so happy to stay home with him now. He is talking so much! He is soooo precious! God has been so good to me. He truly gave me one of the sweetest gifts ever during one of the hardest times of my life. Life is hard- but being Noah's mommmy makes it easier. Realizing what is important... and what to dwell on and not.. that helps!

I love my husband. He is so good to me. Nate and I are definitely a pair... and we are different than so many others. But 12 years later.. here we are.. :) I love him. We grow every year.... We have such a realistic relationship... we try not to have expectations for each other in our marriage. He is a great man who supports me and my son. He takes care of us. Where I am weak, he is strong. Where he is weak, I am strong. He has been there for me during all of the most exciting and the hardest times in my teen and adult life! He is who God created for me. I am proud to stand by him and make him proud.

We are very blessed. We are happy! We have dreamed and prepared for this move back home for the past three years. We are set. Praise God! I pray that God will always guide us. I hope we can find a church that we will be involved in and get fed from each week! I am so thankful for the life that God has given me. A lot of ups and downs, especially in the last year and a half. The only thing that I would change-- to have my brother back. The relationships that I have lost ... I am okay with that. I just wish I had my brother back. My family is really all that matters to me in this life! I have amazing family and inlaws! I am so truly blessed.

This is a random entry... but I was thinking about who I am.. and how people that think they know me- don't. I am SOOO very different than I was three years ago. I have learned so many things. One of the best lessons I have learned in the past three years is when to keep my mouth shut, when to smile and act like nothing is wrong, and when to talk. Thank you Lord for who you are to me and for my precious life.