Conviction?

Read this blog: http://brittanybillingsley.blogspot.com/2011/10/sometimes-i-dont-like-conviction.html?spref=fb

That is my little sister... her blog made me think. I wish I had the guard on my mouth that she does... and I have been working on it. I wish I followed the convictions that I have... but sometimes I speak without thinking.

You see, I know what that sweet girl is talking about... and she vents to me. When I hear my sister so upset about things- it takes EVEN MORE of me NOT to speak my mind. But you know what she tells me today? Don't say anything, just talk to me. How did she get so smart?? Even when she is so upset ... she wants to keep the peace. Bless her. But then as I read or listen to the things she is saying to me- I just wish for once she WOULD disobey the convictions and tell it like it is. But she isn't... she is super Godly like that. :) I admire her. I look up to her. She is so amazing. I want to be like her when I grow up. I have said that so many times.

We, as people, often times don't think about how the things we say are going to affect others. MEEEE! I am really bad about that. I want to say how I feel, when I feel it, and to who I think needs to hear it. What about when the shoe is on the other foot? I want so badly to yell that the things that are being said are hurting me, us. .... But I haven't.

I suppose I am getting better at this.. perhaps I am starting to learn to obey the convictions that the Lord puts in my life....

I know God can heal.... but do you ever just tire of something sometimes? Just want to be done with it? I get that way- actually I think I am there right now. I need the Lords restoration so I can be content again!! Or maybe I don't need to be content.. maybe I need to be in earnest prayer about the situation, which I can admit, i am not..

Times like this, we both decided, it would be awesome to be able to go to our big brother with it. Somehow, Shane, new how to fix all problems. Don't know how.. but whenever I told him anything I was upset about- he handled it. From punching someone in the face for calling me a bad name to painting a vehicle for someone for free so they would give me the money they had promised me... HE was and is amazing. We miss him. Sometimes it is hard.... because sometimes it feels like people forget that he IS our brother... but we know.... in the end, I guess that is all that matters.

I am so thankful for my family. I am thankful for the bonds we have with eachother. It sucks we went from four to three.. but Shane is ALWAYS here... I see him in my Noah.. there is so much of him in all three of his kids... memories. We have to keep the memory alive.. and my family does that.

Hey moma and britt- I love you guys.

Again, my sister is amazing. Anyone that knows her is blessed.