September 11, 2011

Where was I? I was a freshman in college... and I was asleep. My roommate ran to the room to tell me what had happened. Classes were cancelled at East Texas Baptist University.... and we had a lot of prayer times in the chapel. I was just in a state of shock at what I Was seeing on TV. I was only 17 years old. I'l never forget. I remember that Nate was taking a road trip and I was worried sick about him. It was days before I heard from him.... I was never so happy to hear that boys voice. I remember being in the chapel crying for the lives lost... and not understanding AT ALL.. I remember that next summer as I boarded a plane to Wyoming to serve as a summer missionary, how scared I was to get on that plane (first time ever).... all because of 9/11. We will never understand... I read many of the books that were put out by spouses.. and it broke my heart. Though I will never truly understand the pain because I Was not impacted personally.... I'll always have the pain because I am America... my husband leaves because of this very thing.... I'll never forget.



On March 11, 2011.. I remember where I was as well. SIX months ago, my students had just left the school and my best friend, Kimmy was coming to get me. We were going to go pick up Noah to go to Hachinohae to Toys R' US. The earthquake hit! OMG! I thought I was dying.. I am not kidding. It kept going.. they kept coming. Kim shows up.. we decide to go ahead and go.. we had no clue what had just happened was so terrible. WE were used to earthquakes.. we had one pretty sucky a couple of days before. As we were in the parking lot... getting Noah's carseat switched to Kim's van.. we just watched as cars shook from side to side as the aftershocks/earthquakes WHATEVER you want to call them... kept coming and coming!!!!!! They wouldn't stop. We still thought.. maybe we will go. Driving around base was somber..... all the lights were out. #1 priority.. get noah from off base. We did... everything was off otu there too.. We finally decided it was best to go home. (Keep i mind, our guys were deployed) I can tell you that we had no clue the extremity of the situation in Japan... I would dare to say most of us did not. We spent the evening with no electricity and running to the car, to the doorway, or perfectly still.. always grabbing a kid or two.. depending who was closest -- each time another one hit. It was constant. No lie. We finally decided to drive to Main base and see what was up.. we ended up going to the Commissary and they just let us in even though there was no electricity and they were closing, but we got batteries. That night we sat in her dark house with our candles just talking about 'what if this hit the news, our family would be so worried'... but not seriously, like we were laughing. We had NO CLUE! All through the night we kept getting the quakes, it was so scary. I just knew it was the end of the world. The next morning we were able to get AFN (our base radio) going on my radio and we heard the guy say something about "President Obama's address to the nation about the Earthquake and Tsunami in Japan." We just looked at each other. NO WAY!!! NOOO freaking way. So, indeed our family did know about it, as did the rest of the WORLD! As we listened throughout the day we would learn just how bad it was.... but we still had no clue. The base set up an Emergency Center were we could go call our families. Even when we talked to them- we told them we didn't know how bad it was... everyone in the United States (or rather WORLD) knew what was going on much more than we did!!! We were able to check our email quickly at the FD and I couldn't help but sneak a peak at some of the pictures online.. I was IN SHOCK!!! I couldn't believe it. My home.. and it was SO close SO close to us. Now, I sit here 6 months later.. my heart craves for Japan because that place became home to me. I went through a lot there... Losing Shane, Having Noah, 2 deployments, Earthquake and Tsunami.. and all of this I walked side by side with my best friends. I love that place and half of my heart is still there.. Always will be. :(



I may have written more about the Japan tragedy... but those memories are so fresh- and I just have so many more vivid memories on it. 10 years ago today our world changed. The scary world we live in became THAT Much more scarier... and since then my dear husband has left his family THREE times on a deployment ... sacrificing so much for our country. Many times a country that is so ungrateful for our men and women in uniform who are out there protecting us. As we remember the lost today... remember those that have lost also fighting this War on Terror. Remember all of the families that have been left behind and gotten word that THEIR loved one is gone.... just as the families on 9/11. I have to turn my TV off.. because I find myself consumed. My heart aches for these families. I cried many times this morning watching it... MANY times. A boy gives a speech about losing his father... I relate because I think of how Addi, Ashtyn, and Chloe are going to feel in 8 years when they say 10 years ago I lost my Daddy... A mom gives a speech about her son. My heart hurts because I think of my own mom who lost her son at such a young age. Boys and girls talk about losing their brother... I can't take it. AT aLL.



I am not comparing my brothers wreck to 9/11. I am just saying.. when these people talk- it stirs up so much in me that I just can't handle today. Not today! Anyone that loses someone close to them... they know the pain. I know how December 3rd feels each year. I know what a reminder the 3rd of any month is. ... I know how it feels to go through the anniversary.. and wonder WHY! I am praying for these families today.. and as I go to church today, I am so thankful for another day that God has given my family and I... and I am reminded that my days are limited and I need to SERVE him! May God bless you today!